Ms Connie's Advice Column

Dear Miss Connie,

I would like to know how much is the going tip for a boy masseur currently. I am planning a trip to Bangkok soon.

Musing in Minnesota

Dear Musing,

As young men working in the bars will invariably say, "It's up to you." Taken to an extreme, this can be problematic. Let this serve as a rough guide. A full hour's massage without any "extra" services should reap the lad around 500 baht (if the contact was made in a go-go bar). "Extra" services usually require 700 baht for a short time and 1,000 baht for an overnight visit. A genuine massage, as is administered at the Marble Palace Massage just off Surawong Road down Wall St. soi currently costs 280 baht for an hour of traditional Thai massage, or 330 baht for two hours. Blind men do the massage. An hour's workout should earn a tip of 100 baht and 2 hrs., double that.

Hope that gives you a rough idea.

Dear Ms. Connie,

Edmund Wilson once wrote: "I always give the whores as little as possible: I don't think that prostitution ought to be encouraged." While I understand that Mr. Wilson was pointing out obliquely the hypocrisy of such a view point, I tend to agree in a certain way. I do of course on occasion go out with "money boys" when I am in Thailand. At times I take them to Pattaya or Koh Samet. I try never to be under the illusion that there is anything between us except money. At the same time, I try and assist them by paying for a course in school, to study English and to get them out of the trade. How do you feel about this attitude?

Pining in Pine Grove, Oregon

Dear Pining,

Many visitors to Thailand confuse social work with sex. It is a fine attitude to try and assist a young man to make good. But as you say, you have no illusions that there is anything between you except money. Except! The exception is you are under the illusion that you can genuinely expect to change the young man you have chosen, while he is swinging on a brass pole with a number on his briefs. There is a big industry out there hooking men with big hearts into footing school fees. The older, more cynical hands (Ms. Connie excluded) would say, just pay the going rate and be done with it: less headaches, fewer illusions and less disappointment when you return and find your mission of mercy still swinging from the same brass rail with a different number on his briefs. Altruism is still to be admired. But let's face it. Exercising it when the primary urge is lust, is really a bit jejune, n'est-ce pas? If you really want to donate, give to a cause like Doctors Without Borders HIV Project Or read the August issue of Thai Guys, about the Rainbow Sky Foundation. They would certainly appreciate your generosity.