Returning to gay Saigon or Ho Chi Minh

In search of cocoa and good looking males

By Suzy Size, your gardening gay guide to Saigon and Vietnam

The ride on the mighty Mekong Express Bus from Phnom Penh to Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City is only 12 $ US and takes about 6 to 7 hours. A nearly full minibus had picked up your heroine around 8.15 am at her hotel and the bus left punctually at 8.30 as advertised. Beauregard, the well admired cute bus conductor who charmed Miss Size so much when she traveled the same route about three and a half years ago, was nowhere in sight. But Suzy (surprisingly) did not care too much, she was all focused on fresh (and thus possibly germinating) cocoa beans, not (or to a lesser degree) on fresh boys. An ugly, but friendly Indian fellow sat beside her and they made some small talk to shorten the somewhat monotonous bus ride.

After maybe three hours the bus boarded the Neak Loeung Ferry over the Mekong river, but the passengers were not allowed to leave the bus. Then, another while later, the Cambodian customs stamped out the passengers and the Vietnamese colleagues checked everybody in. At around 3 pm the bus arrived at centrally located Pham Ngu Lao Street of Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City.

Return to a gay friendly Saigon hotel

Naturally, Suzy Size returned immediately to the Freedom Hotel across the street that had served her so well last time around. Unsuspecting, the reception had allowed good looking Heintje, a cute massage boy from Hanoi working in Saigon, into the private quarters of your heroine then, which lead to a happy beginning before the good health massage that followed. The rooms were still 17 $ US, but the slightly more expensive ones for 22 $ US were not available any longer. Had they just walked away? Instead of increasing the dirt cheap prices, the owners of the hotel had improved the services, free Wifi was now available in every room of that so gay friendly Saigon hotel.

After dropping her bags, your restless heroine asked the friendly girl at the reception, where she might be able to buy cocoa (cacao in Vietnamese)? Said woman was not surprised at all by the somewhat queer request and wrote the names of Ben Thanh market in proper Vietnamese on a piece of paper as well as the much larger Cho Lon market in China Town. This valuable information was supposed to be for the taxi driver, since Suzy Size is not too fluent in Vietnamese. The only two words she actually knows are bia and bia hoi (beer and draught beer). Additionally she wrote the name of the bus station on that piece of paper where the buses for coastal Vung Tau would leave. Suzy Size had (through the internet) identified Vung Tau as a region where cocoa had been introduced as a cash crop a few years back. If the search for the precious fresh cocoa beans would be in vain in Saigon, your gardening heroine was going to travel all the way to Vung Tau.

Passing by a gay friendly restaurant in Ho Chi Minh city

Since Ben Thanh market was walking distance from Freedom Hotel, Suzy Size left the lobby and turned right into Pham Ngu Lao street. A few minutes later she passed by Quan Huong Vy restaurant that had served her so well as headquarters last time around. Neither Mr. Canh nor Mr. Chin were at that place presently, it was too early for a beer anyhow and Suzy Size was in cocoa mood. Soon she reached Ben Thanh market and walked through the many stalls relentlessly. She discovered artichokes from Dalat, huge graviolas and avocados, but no cocoa fruits containing the fresh beans. When she inquired with several vendors, a younger woman made her sit down and her mother went away in search of cocoa. The daughter in the meantime tried to sell Suzy local coffee. It did taste delicious, but was not the real thing your heroine had come for. When the mother finally returned, she was carrying a pack of cocoa powder…

Suzy tried other vendors and seemed to be able to communicate what she wanted. But they said, the nearest place where cocoa was grown, was more than 200 kilometers away.

So Suzy called it a day. She went for some beers to Quan Huong Vy restaurant, had dinner at an excellent Italian restaurant nearby. She walked through Bui Vien, the backpacker street running parallel to Pham Ngu Lao street, but there were far less juicy massage boys offering their services than last time, none really appealed to your Pattaya spoiled heroine. And there was no trace of Heintje (her Saigon heartthrob) at all. The boys were far less aggressive too, nobody molested Miss Size (to her chagrin) at all, nor did they seem to take notice of her. She returned for a last Saigon Green to Quan Huong Vy restaurant and watched what was going on. There were some straight American idiots talking incredible macho bullshit and smoking pot. But there was – again – no trace of Canh or Chin. An attractive gay couple sat down at one of the tables, but none of the two showed the least interest in your hapless heroine. So Suzy Size retired early.

There seem to be gay saunas in Saigon now

Had Miss Size known what she knows now, that eventless evening would most certainly have taken a different turn. As you may remember, gay traveler to Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City, the short trip to Cambodia and Vietnam had been organized in haste and your heroine had had no time to do her homework properly. She could not update the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World regarding Ho Chi Minh City or Saigon. So she was unaware of the fact that now there are at least two gay saunas or massage places in Saigon. For years there was no such breathtaking development in sight, Saigon was frozen in time and Suzy Size just had anticipated, this would last forever and a day and had thus missed the opening of Adam Spa and equally interesting Nam Spa. What a terrible blunder!

The next day in Saigon – a Saturday – was once again devoted to the search of cocoa beans which is in many ways quite similar to the search of the good looking male: One has certain clues where to find them, but there are so many obstacles and detours to overcome. You may only vaguely know the location where you can find (and pocket) them, there is a sheer insurmountable language barrier in the way as well and many misunderstandings loom. The taxi to the Cholon Market in China Town was not very expensive, they have very modern taxis now in Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City that run with meters, so no hassles at all. Suzy Size likes to visit local markets and it was a worthwhile pastime indeed. But (as your heroine had feared) there was no trace of cocoa beans to be found. Many graviolas again were on display, huge avocados as well, but the Holy Grail (fresh and plant able cocoa beans) was not detected. So Suzy Size took another taxi to the bus station from where the buses for Vung Tau were supposed to leave. But those buses turned out to be speed boats, which was fine too, maybe even better than a boring bus. Next day your sentinel to gay Vietnam was going to Vung Tau from that very boat station, located just opposite the Majestic hotel.

Gay treason in Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City

The last night Suzy Size had dinner again at that nearby Italian restaurant and later went over to her beloved Quan Huong Vy restaurant. The tasty Saigon beer is less than 1 $ US and there are places nearby where it is even cheaper. Neither Canh (Mr. No bulshit) nor Heintje were in sight, but Mr. Chin worked that night. Bloody Mr. Chin! He was much fatter than the last time around, which may proof there is a GOD (or justice) after all. Miss Size had met him three and a half years ago when she came Quan Huong Vy restaurant the very first time. He had predicted then, your heroine would be back at 8 pm. Only later did Suzy learn, this was the time, when his shift ended and he had made an indecent proposal. And then she had made arrangements to meet him at her quarters at the so liberal Freedom Hotel after work, the very last night in Saigon. She even skipped the circus that was in town. But Mr. Chin never came. When Suzy Size told Mr. Chin – the cause of such a gullible gay treason in Saigon – that she remembered him well, he said, he remembered your heroine too. But Miss does not believe that and made no attempt to lure the treacherous fat sow into her bed again, nor did she leave any tip.