Dear Ms Connie

Your reply to “A Man on Island of Man” is almost totally devoid of any literary, intellectual or comic merit whatsoever. We know it’s a tradition on “The Gay Scene” to pay good money to be insulted by bitter, gin-soaked old queens from the safety of the stage, but it is a different matter to be subjected to a written harangue from behind a cloak of anonymity, such as yours. Who the hell do you think you are to condemn tourists for seeking to have some fun with a younger companion whilst literally pumping their hard earned cash into the Thai economy?

Provided the “boy” is of legal age and there is no harm done to either party, what’s the problem? I suspect that you are nothing more than some holier-than-thou old bag who has escaped from their native country for whatever reason, and who now feels superior to everybody else - hence your continual use of the pejorative term [sic] “faggot” Why don’y [sic] you face the facts - if you had any literary or comedic talent whatsoever you wouldn’t be limited to producing a tawdry little column, so why not do us all a favour, give up and allow somebody to do it properly who doesn’t have to resort to stereotyping and insults.

Incidentally, it is predominantly the exploitative tourists as you label them, who enable your magazine to attract advertising revenues and to continue publication.

Of course, you won’t dare to print this.

Scottish Guy

Dear Scottish Guy,

Who says we won’t dare to print this? Please, dear, don’t give yourself such credit. Ms. Connie knows a hate letter when she receives one. She has received a lot that are much more vitriolic than yours, usually on racist or sexist lines which we do not print, not because we don’t dare, but because we do not want to honour them with even an acknowledgement they exist.

It may be a tradition to pay good money to be insulted by scotch-soaked old queens where you come from Scottish Guy, but not from where Ms. Connie comes from. Ms. Connie doesn’t pay to be insulted. Incidentally Scottish Guy, isn’t “queen” as used by you a pejorative?

Ms. Connie will deal with your letter point by point since she read yours and you obviously did not read nor absorb the import of the reply you are screaming about to the Man from the Isle of Man. First, you say the reply is “almost totally devoid of literary, intellectual or comedic merit whatsoever”. So Ms. Connie presumes that you do acknowledge some literary, intellectual and comedic merit to her reply. Nevertheless, you Scottish Guy are entitled to your opinion. It is obvious to Ms. Connie that someone from Scotland living in Thailand and hanging out in the bars or wherever and reading “Sticky Rice” in search of literary, intellectual and comedic merit deserves her undying gratitude, if not sympathy. We need guys like you Scottish Guy and we do hope you keep writing Ms. Connie whenever you feel the urge because not only will she dare to publish your egregiously fulsome denunciations, we will absolutely giggle doing so.

Ms. Connie will not spend much time on her cloak of anonymity. It has become a bit tattered of late, probably like your kilt Scottish Guy. Ms. Connie’s reply to the Man from the Isle of Man was not a condemnation of tourists who seek the charms so readily available in Thailand. Nor was it condemning men who pay for sex since Scottish Guy, Ms. Connie in that same letter acknowledges that she herself along with a more respectable list of notables in gay history have done the same. Ms. Connie does not use the term “faggot” as a pejorative, Scottish Guy. You are a faggot. Ms. Connie is a faggot. Because we are, we can use the term with impunity and fun. That’s the nature of being a faggot. Scotland isn’t renowned for a sense of fun, ‘nuff said. A faggot is a faggot is a faggot. Used by some the term is depreciatory. Used by Ms. Connie, it is the highest form of flattery.

Ms. Connie agrees that men who come to Thailand and share their wealth with the young and aimless, are doing their swains a service and giving the economy a boost. What Ms. Connie was getting at dear, if you would put your reading glasses on and read between the lines, is that no one should be foolish about characterising these relationships as more than they are. They primarily have a commercial reason and that’s the rub. Ms. Connie may indeed be an old haggis, as you probably are as well, but she is not one who is holier than thou. Her advice to her gentle readers, even those who wear kilts: do what you do, but do it with respect and don’t be under the impression that the boy draped over your aged shoulders is like a mink stole. We all know he’s a mink stole and his hand is in your purse. He may make you look absolutely fabulous when you are together, but don’t be misled into believing that we don’t see you are just an old thing with a young thing and we don’t know why.

As for why Ms. Connie continues to write for formerly Thai Guys and now Sticky Rice, is Scottish Guy, none of your goddamn business. On occasion her column may be a bit lacking when Ms. Connie has not had her morning pick me up, before hitting the keyboard, but how dare you resort to stereotyping and insults to insult poor Ms. Connie and Sticky Rice. Ms. Connie did not label anyone exploitative. She said to the writer that he was in angst over being exploitative and it was unnecessary. We do dare to publish your letters Scottish Guy even if you are feeling a bit angry and ghoulish and put upon by Ms. Connie’s advice, but please in future, when you choose to write about Ms. Connie’s replies to her dear cherished readers, (you among them she might add), HAVE THE COMMON DECENCY TO READ THE BLOODY LETTER FIRST.