Mighty moved by movies

By Suzy Size

Ageing is difficult sometimes - it is not only about looks, skin, wrinkles, belly, double chins, foul odour from the mouth, underarms and between legs, grey or no hair---all these deficiencies of age are obstacles that can be overcome, at least in Thailand. Or can be if you do not fall under a certain subsistence level, if you know what I mean. Beggars can't be choosers. But the biggest problems of ageing are the lack of energy, the lack of interest, the bad or sombre moods. Going for a good steak? Yeah, why not? Going for another round of sex with a guy thirty years your junior (or a so called massage)? What the heck! Just leave me alone, Id rather nit a shawl. (Talking about grey hair: Whenever I see this John Bolton on TV, the one with the super grey moustache, US ambassador to the UN or suchlike, I wonder whether he has a single black pubic hair left?)

And there are few other things to do if you live in Thailand. Books, OK. Few concerts. Very few ballets and theatre productions. Operas almost unknown. Movies so so; but only Hollywood mainstream. But then Suzy suddenly became a collector, not like Doug Sanders with his priceless lingams, of course. More mainstream.

In Silom Road, not far from convent, in the direction of the Dusit Thani, there is a shop that sells all those interesting DVDs for very little money. They have their catalogues; you write down the numbers and ten minutes later they deliver the stuff. You sweat a lot there, because under the Skytrain station there is very little fresh air (good for losing weight if you can't be bothered to go to the sauna). These purchases of mine might be illegal, of course, but what is not illegal in Thailand? Prostitution is illegal and therefore it does not exist. Most DVDs sold there have this candid warning by the FBI, so I guess, everything must be fine. I'm always good and watch the FBI warnings before I watch the movie. Interesting indeed, but so far I've not been really frightened. And, sadly, no hunky FBI agent has so far knocked at my door for a little investigation of some sort. After all, Edgar J. Hoover was one of us, if an egregious one, was he not?

The Suzy Size collection consists of about 650 movies (as of now). And it is this collection that keeps the proud collectress busy at nights nowadays. There are priceless flicks Suzy, of course, had heard of, but had never seen. For instance "Un chien andalou" by Luis Bunuel and Salvador Dali. Stanley Kubricks first and quite dark film "The Killing". Samuel Fullers "Pick up at South Street", movies you really could not see in Bangkok anywhere, or when. And then, the timeless classics that can be seen over and over again, like "Casablanca" or "Gone with the Wind". Suzy always cries about the sad fate of Miss Millie, Bonny or Tara.

And about 6.2 percent of the Suzy Size collection have gay content. Most of those movies Suzy has seen in her early days, but has now a chance to watch again in here twilight years. Some have aged as well as Suzy herself, some not. Why, for instance, does Aschenbach in "Death in Venice" not try to bribe that blond Tadzio guy with some candy or a 1000 Baht note? The whole story might have ended on a bit more upbeat note.

Suzy Size will give you more insights into her priceless movie collection and reveal to you what she thinks of them now after seeing her old movies again . . . now that she is older and presumably wise (or at least wiser), her perspective must have matured as well.