Laying down in gay Beijing: A good sauna

Think of those masses of sexy men in gay China due to one-son-policy

By Suzy Size, your gay guide through Asia and the world

When you, gay visitor of Beijing, read this, your heroine is already sitting in Iracema Beach of Fortaleza in Brazil. Just 10 minutes ago Suzy Severa Size has been robbed in broad daylight by a knife wielding thief near Marina Park. This was a close call! And – without her excellent karma - she might as well be dead now and this newest installment of the eternal Gay World Friendship Tour would never have seen the light of the universe.

But let us - for now - return to the happy gay days in Beijing where Miss Size was still in a state of innocence – so to speak – neither could she have foreseen then the tragic and heartbreaking events of Lisbon surrounding monstrous Bruno Carvalho, nor the sudden and devastating reoccurrence of hyperinflation in Brazil which lead to the fallout with Marcello, her one and only love of gay Fortaleza.

When Suzy Size moved to her new hotel Beijing 161 (a youth hostel) just around the corner of centrally located Dongsi subway station, she liked immediately what she found. There were no dumb and loud hordes of straight American tourists here, like in the old hotel, but mainly young and promising backpackers from all over the world. The reception was very friendly and the whole young staff was fluent in English.

No, Eduard, Suzy did not check into the male dormitory, as tempting as this might have seemed, she had booked a single (with double bed) and naturally had en suite.

The room was at roughly 25 $ US about half as expensive as at the first hotel and the Wifi in the room really worked. At the bar they served an excellent Latte in the morning and all kind of alcoholic drinks later in the day. Should Suzy Size return to Beijing – there is a remote chance she might do that on her way back – she will most certainly lodge again in this down to earth little hotel of the historic Hutong area. And since it turned out to be even gay friendly – Suzy got laid in her room – it has also been listed in the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World regarding Beijing.

The Wifi in the room served the hidden homosexual purposes of your horny heroine well. She had notified a gay dating service, containing a picture less, but otherwise honest profile of your heroine, about her travel plans to Beijing and had indeed received at least three interesting inquiries. The first one was a 24 year young hunk mixed blood, a very typical Suzy Size guy. He sent new mail hearts to Miss Size every day, how very romantic! But each and every time Suzy asked him a question, he just pasted the different sections and under sections of his profile which was in English, but those answers had nothing to do with the questions asked. Suzy concluded, he was not really speaking English at all and might be a con man of sorts.

The second interesting guy asked your heroine for a picture of her, but after he got it, was obviously very much afraid or outright frightened, Miss Size never heard of him again.

Then there was another 24 years old fellow who also desired a picture of Suzy Size – and your heroine demanded one of him in return. But looking at that snap, your heroine thought him to be rather 44 than 24 and forgot about that whole futile internet approach towards gay sex in Beijing. She returned instead to the place where she is best, to the gay asphalt jungle of Beijing.

Gay China or gay Beijing? Yes, here they come

When your horny heroine walked towards Chongwenmen subway station in her frantic search of famed gay Batiya sauna in - for a change – sunny Beijing, she came across a little park where old ladies and gents were dancing, others exercising and our kind cruising. (The exact location has been described in the Pink Pages of this unique gay guide to Asia and the world at large.) Suzy routinely tried her luck with an obvious guy, walked by his bench several times, giving him the eye, circling him like a hungry wolf looking for prey.

But that cruel fellow was so busy working on his smart phone, he did not even realize your heroine was staring at him.

So after a while Miss Size sat down on his bench besides him, posing as nutty tourist, (she is good at that).

He still took no notice.

Then she asked him to point out on her map where this park was located. But he must have learned map reading in a crash course in Thailand, he had no clue at all. So Suzy Size gave up on him and moved to greener pastures, to gay Beijing Batiya sauna.

Look, gay visitor of Beijing, when Suzy Size had been in town last time, she stayed in that Chongwenmen neighborhood together with her older sister Magna Size. And the two well versed gay travelers often had their breakfast at that KFC outlet there, but had no clue about Batiya gay Beijing sauna only being 50 meters away! But now, on that bright, but cold afternoon, Suzy Size entered that magic place in search of male beauty.

First your heroine got flip-flops and the electronic key to her locker. She undressed and took the usual shower, but must complain about the size of the towels at said Beijing gay sauna: Just ridiculous!

Not even dwarfs could cover their crown jewels with this size of fabric!

Maybe it is intentional? But it is not a good idea.

Right from the start, Miss Size was followed or shown around by an English speaking guy, eager to make some money by giving a massage. Your heroine, as you, prospective gay visitor of Beijing and the world, must know by now, is not at all against this concept, but she is against the rush. She demanded some quality time for her alone in order to check out the premises and the goodies in hiding. Actually this was Good Friday and what better to do is there – asked in all innocence - than to search for some hidden eggs?

But the somewhat pushy fellow would not move away from your horny heroine who he obviously regarded as his private ATM.

There were little other clients and nobody was of any sexual interested for picky Miss Size. Except that hunky co-worker of the pushy Beijing hustler that just had arrived. He just was undressing and stood there in his underwear that seemed to contain quite sizeable tools. Your heroine picked him without further delay and was accompanied to one of the short time rooms.

This fellow – contrary to the first – spoke no English at all, but the universal language of love surmounts all such seemingly high obstacles. Suzy Size was handed a menu containing four different prices for four different services rendered: 78, 128, 288 or 400 RMB were the different packages offered (13 to about 65 $ US).

The first one, the cheapest, was naturally out of question, since it was one of those boring sports massages only. Suzy opted for the second one, which was including a hand job. She did not understand the difference yet between package 2 and 3, which also included a hand job, but the difference to package 4 was clear: It included a blow job, kissing and possibly licking in quite delicate zones.

The masseur left in preparation for package 2 and returned in due time: Fully dressed!

Suzy had to increase to package 3 in order to get him to undress again and the ascent to heaven that followed – measured on the immortal and internationally recognized Suzy Size Sex Service Scale ranging from 1 to 10 – reached a rather meager 4.2356, but this was OK for a day on which other people got nailed to a cross.

On the way back to her hotel, your heroine passed that cruisy park again and was now so thirsty, she stopped there again to buy a coke at the kiosk. The guy that gave her the eye was much more her type than the dumb fellow from before and in no time Suzy sat besides him and tried to explain in her non existing Chinese, she was busy now (exhausted from the mediocre sex in truth), but would be back next day at noon, obviously having forgotten her humiliation in gay Yangon just a little while back.

But actually, Suzy was not humiliated next day: If that guy really returned, he was. Your heroine that very night found her one and only Chinese Clint at Destination and had no time to return to a dubious date in some fucking gay Beijing park.