Insults in Kandy
The buggers are everywhere
By Suzy Size, gay Sri Lanka
After arriving at Kandy train station - even the two Thais Khun Amorn and Khun Sun had enjoyed the scenic ride up the mountains despite the fact that there was no air conditioning – the party of four queens naturally wanted to stay at Queens Hotel right across the lake and the famous temple with that tooth of Lord Buddha. They were offered an air conditioned room at 50 US $ a night and tried 40 US $ as counter offer. Last year when Suzy was here too, that was the rate she then paid. But this was not accepted now. They compromised at 45 US $, but only for one night. After that they had to move to a non air conditioned room for 40 US $. Since it was quite cool in Kandy, this did not matter at all, except for the Thais, who slightly lost face, but not that much to get upset.
They have now a KFC and Pizza Hut in Kandy and quite a lot of tourists, compared with last year when Suzy Size was virtually the only Farang around and about. An American tour group was staying at the Queens as well, loud and vulgar as expected of such straight brutes.
Early next morning Suzy Size and Khun Amorn, the boy friend of so many years, walked around the Kandy lake which does not take more than an hour. Normally Khun Amorn (like most Thais) would not participate in such an arduous endeavor. Why walk at all, if there are Tuk Tuks, taxis or other comfortable means of transportations? But in cool Kandy Khun Amorn was interested to experience the nature besides that famous temple. They spotted giant bats napping in the trees around the lake, thousands of big, fat fish that are regularly being fed by the Buddhist visitors of Kandy. There were several scary looking, but harmless lizards in the lake - in Thailand their presence would be a sign of bad luck, but not so in Sri Lanka – and the many apes run around and enjoy life. But after an hour, back at the Queens, groggy Khun Amorn called it a day (more or less) and retired to the private quarters for a while.
Whenever the four friends roamed the streets of Kandy, nobody took notice of Magna and Suzy Size, the two Thais – obviously gay and giggling much of the day – stole the limelight. Neither, your heroine, nor her elder sister Magna were of any interest, the male youth of Kandy adored the two Thai queens with their obvious star quality. And – surprisingly – the two Thais enjoyed flirting with everybody, too. Suzy Size had expected them to be snobbish and to act cool. After all those Sri Lankans were so terribly dark, almost black like the negroes of Africa, so to speak, which is, after all, the contrary of the Thai beauty ideal. But, no inhibitions were shown at all. They also treated the staff at the hotel as equals, as brothers and sister like back in Thailand, asked all kinds of very direct questions:
”How much do you earn a month?”
And were amazed when they heard 6000 Rupees which amounts to about 60 US $. For a whole month?
They were shocked to discover, that there was no disco, no shopping center in this holly town, where every Sri Lankan is expected to pray at least once in the life time at the tooth temple, this life around.
Unbelievable, the very few bars of Kandy close at 11 pm!
What a very strange place, what a very strange country, indeed!
Our two naïve Thai friends were at friendly terms with every tout and bugger. There are many in Sri Lanka and some are refined, use any pretext to draw anybody into a conversation, then eventually come to the point and try to sell some rubbish, get some commission, any dough. “Some coins of your country, maybe?” The worst and most expensive ones are those who explain you from the start, that they do not want any money. The most ridiculous attempt was made in Galle, on November 13th, check it out gay tourist to Sri Lanka, it was a Friday. An old man near the wall, rushed up to your heroine and wished her a happy new year, several times…
Look, fellow gay tourist to Sri Lanka, your heroine understands that there are many poor people in Sri Lanka that need to make a living, but sometimes they go on her nerves anyhow. And when another one, a nerdish ugly one approached Khun Amorn and explained that he worked as a gardener at their hotel, Suzy asked, what hotel this was? When he did not know the answer, Suzy told him to get lost.
”Who are you to talk with me like that?”
”This is very dangerous. You do not know who I am.”
”You are a homosexual that likes to fuck young Thai boys.”
The whole thing was a bit ridiculous, since Khun Amorn at 40 is not exactly a spring chicken any longer and thus far from being a young Thai boy. But the sudden homophobic outburst was still a telling and nasty thing.
Both Magna and Suzy warned their Thai companions to be a bit careful, not to act too obvious. And they could finally convince them not to buy beer for the 18 year old acquaintances they had made at the hotel - in a holy city where the legal drinking age is 21. And they seemed to abide.
Only later on the trip, after another catch in Nuwara Eliya, Khun Amorn confessed of having caught two fish whilst in Kandy.
Magna and Suzy should have thought so, after all the Thais received and sent endless SMS to their new Sri Lankan friends, had endless silly conversations on the Mobile with the local sim card, invited their catches to visit them in Thailand, not realizing that they were expected to pay for the air fare.
Support the Suzy Size World Friendship Tour – pay on-line now
It feels so good to do good
Suzy Size likes her tours all over the world so much, she now plans to go on an eternal World Friendship Tour for Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World. Well, eternal is a long time – contrary to short time – and our heroine needs some funds for this unique venture, the boys are costly, you know. Support your heroine and pay on-line with your credit card. Any amount of 20 US $ and above welcome. If you commit 100 US $ or above you will get a dinner invitation at Castelgandolfo, the Suzy Size residence slightly outside Pattaya and an interesting plant. It feels so good to do good!
Suzy Size thanks thee an awful lot and is mighty proud of you.
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