Khob Chai (thank you), Mr. Good

An interesting overland trip from Kunming to Luang Prabang – though not to be repeated

By Suzy Size, gay China and gay Laos

Suzy and Magna Size, your ageing two heroines, could have easily taken a flight from Kunming to Bangkok and thus ending their great gay China Friendship Tour. But, looking at a map, they were tempted to go on overland which used to be difficult or even impossible just a few years back. They could have continued their trip into the North of Vietnam by taking a ten hours bus ride to Hekou, the Chinese border town to Lao Cai in Vietnam. (The scenic, French built mountain train that used to connect Kunming with Hekou is not operating at the moment, being completely rebuilt.) Or they could opt for Laos, for Luang Prabang to be exact, where Magna never had been before. Suzy has been in Luang Prabang at least twelve times, but did not mind to return, your heroine loves that place for its stunning beauty, not for the gay night life, though. She must admit here right away: She never - it certainly is scandalous, indeed! - got laid in Luang Prabang, despite the many previous visits there. But she might be lucky this time…One can always hope, of course, is it called, the audacity of hope?

There was a very able travel agent just in front of the Camellia hotel where your two gay sentinels were lodging in Kunming. Suzy had wanted to stay at the Camellia for nostalgic reasons, she has been there before on her last trip to China about fifteen years ago. And it proved to be a good choice: Centrally located, inexpensive and in so far gay friendly as it would have been possible to bring hardware to the room, just stopping at the hotel bar first for a drink and thus deviating the attention of the reception girls. (The hotel has therefore been listed on the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World.) But the two elder ladies were a bit shocked first when they heard the bus ride from Kunming to Luang Prabang would take thirty arduous hours. As you know, fellow gay sex tourist, neither Magna nor Suzy can be regarded – to their deep chagrin - as spring chicken any longer and sitting on a bus for thirty hours can be a bit very long even for younger travelers. But then the travel agent explained that this was a sleeping bus, with beds allocated to all passengers – so Suzy and Magna finally went for it.

To be sure not to starve to death on their long bus trip they went to Carrefour in Kunming and bought all kinds of food. Suzy bought Chinese dried ham (a bit on the salty side), baguettes, cherries, peaches and Great Wall red wine which is inexpensive and very drinkable. Magna opted for cheese, butter, cooked ham, onions and that horrible soft bred the English and Americans like so much. And the bus was quite comfortable in the beginning, left very punctually in the late afternoon. For several hours your two heroines watched the interesting landscape fly away outside the windows. The roads seemed to be brand new as so many other ones they had seen in China. The only problem was, they had no toilet on board. So every few hours the bus stopped somewhere and the facilities were very basic to put it mildly. After a longer ride without stop everybody rushed to the toilets and it must have been then when Suzys laptop got stolen which was stored under her bed on the floor of the bus. Your heroine only realized this next morning when they were at the border to Laos and made no (useless) fuss at all.

To cross over into Laos proofed to be a bit difficult. Suzy and Magna had made a visa to Laos right at Camellia hotel in Kunming which houses the Lao General Consulate, but this turned out to be a mistake since a much cheaper “Visa on arrival” was available at the border. But not Suzy or Magna (the only two farangs on the bus) were the problem at the border, it was the painstakingly slow way of the Lao immigration personnel. PDR is the acronym for Peoples Democratic Republic of Laos, but it is often translated as “Please Don’t Rush”. It took them not less than five hours to process that Chinese bus, there was considerable horse trading going on between the Chinese bus people and the Lao immigration how to tax certain parcels the Chinese had with them. After that delay at the border that bus ride seemed to become longer and longer, the roads were not as good as in China as well. Your two heroines felt worn out and tired when they finally arrived in Luang Prabang after 29 hours. Apparently the procedure at the border crossing always takes a lot of time, since they arrived one hour before schedule. So would they do that bus ride again? No, probably not, if possible.

The Tuk Tuk driver brought them to Sokdee Guest House which was a nice accommodation and since one of the reception boys wanted to “take care” for Suzy in an unambiguous way it has been listed in the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World. Luang Prabang was splendid as ever. It is pure pleasure to walk through that beautiful and so well preserved town which clearly deserves its status as a World Heritage Site. There are many good and inexpensive restaurants, Suzy and Magna both tried a tasty water buffalo steak Café de Paris and were very happy with that choice.

Magna once again had taken initiative and asked a Tuk Tuk driver to bring your two heroines to the foremost Luang Prabang gay bar. He dropped them a Khob Chai which indeed seemed to be gay, looking at the staff. They got into a conversation with another customer who happened to live in Luang Prabang. He told them that indeed Khob Chai was an openly gay bar with drag shows until the authorities made big problems a while ago. Then the US owner and his Lao partner turned it into a “straight” bar like their other joint just across the street which is called Lao Lao Garden. But despite this official change of sexual orientation, Khob Chai is the obvious choice in search for local talent in Luang Prabang. A 19 year old waiter, Mr. Good, got friendly with Suzy and they arranged to go to Dao Fai Disco next evening after Khob Chai closed, Magna, who had also made such an acquaintance, joined them. The grey ladies did not have a too good time at the noisy disco, but their subsidized new friends had, which was the main objective of that visit and therefore fine. The usual hunger after the disco had to be fought with a noodle soup at the only late night restaurant of Luang Prabang. And when it closed - rather early - as well, Suzy could finally get rid of her unwanted Luang Prabang chastity. Thank you, Mr. Good, thank you very, very big!

Magna took a plane to Bangkok two days later and Suzy returned via bus and Vientiane to Nong Khai and her residence there. Then she drove back to good old Pattaya, where the living is so incredibly easy.

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Suzy Size likes her tours all over the world so much, she now plans to go on an eternal World Friendship Tour for Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World. Well, eternal is a long time – contrary to short time – and our heroine needs some funds for this unique venture, the boys are costly, you know. Support your heroine and pay on-line with your credit card. Any amount of 20 US $ and above welcome. If you commit 100 US $ or above you will get a dinner invitation at Castelgandolfo, the Suzy Size residence slightly outside Pattaya and an interesting plant. It feels so good to do good!

Suzy Size thanks thee an awful lot and is mighty proud of you.