A real and a virtual trip to gay Korea – wash your anus with soap

Many expensive side dishes – but where is the meat?

By Suzy Size

I have never been in Korea, South Korea that is. But I have been in Stalinist North Korea which was a gruesome experience in any respect. About fourteen years ago, Papa dictator was still alive and running the show, then they were awfully short on cash and food already. So they had the bright idea to start up tourism to generate some income. The pilot project took place in and from Thailand, after all Air Korea was flying from Pyongyang to Bangkok once a week anyhow, so why not fill that old Russian plane with cash loaded tourists? There were only three farang in the group, all journalists posing as teachers or other harmless creatures, the rest of the group were fun and travel loving Thais. To their great amazement they were unable to find any Shopping Centers in North Korea during the whole week. I myself was not amazed not to detect gay life in North Korea. Only once a waiter smiled in a way that could have been positively identified by a good oiled gaydar. Maybe, baby, this was one of our kind, but anyhow our many minders were in the way.

At Balcony in Bangkok I once met a Korean guy that had an eye on me. He constantly paid my beers and I always had to cheer with him. Cheerio. This went on for several weeks. But with his reddish square face and his rather plump body I was not attracted by him at all. He finally returned to South Korea and opened a gay bar there, probably inspired what he had learned in Bangkok but certainly not from me.

Now John Goss has just released the second edition of his Gay Guide to South Korea and I became somewhat curious and ordered a review copy. After all the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and World have only three entries for South Korea, not very much you might think at first sight. They are all massage places located in Seoul. The first one is called Bodyguard and is quite interesting if you like honks. Have a look, their website it is made for voyeurs like us. They have about twenty five bodybuilder masseurs and charge 100,000 Won for in-house massage, 120,000 Won for outside calls. They really have handsome boys. My favorite is probably 28 year old kyu-te with his big tits. The second site is called Karada 77 and is a massage house with boys as well. The strangest of the three sites is Massage Seoul where they give you in frequently asked questions the following answers: “At some massage shops in Korea no clients get undressed because they don't use oil, but we use oil so clients must be get naked totally. Masseur is naked too because clients feel more comfortable if masseur is naked. Massage kind 1A 1B are not naked massage, the other massages over 2A are all naked massage. 1A B are depending on masseurs.”

“Before massage we need you take a shower and brush your teeth. Sometimes we have a difficulty in massage due to odor, because some clients don't use soap when they wash their anus. When you have a massage you take off all, so we would be appreciate if you make sure washing your anus with soap before massage.”

What a strange country, I thought, and started to read that new Gay Guide to South Korea I mentioned (you can soon order it through this Website). The gay scene, according to the book, remains largely invisible in this conservative macho country. A 1997 law still classified descriptions of “homosexual love” as “harmful to youth”, but there have never been silly (and vicious) laws like in Singapore, India and other former English colonies. The book more than once warns against the practice of bars and Karaoke places to demand their customers to buy small snacks at hugely inflated prices. The book repeatedly quotes from comments made on the Utopia Website by visitors of Korea (in a way, this guide book is a printed message board enriched with addresses but it will not give you any links): “a really awful gay scene”, “gay life here is still quite oppressed and will probably remain so in the next two decades” “Gay university students have no money and no time but for study and drinking with their friends.” They describe rundown saunas with ratty towels “the clientele seems to have aged, and foreigners are not welcome.” In another sauna the Koreans are “poking lighters near your face”. “The whole area around the train station is rough and a center of prostitution, so don´t get drunk and stay out of conflicts.” There are some positive remarks as well: “Visited Equus last night and had a fantastic time.” But over all one gets the impression Korea is not at all a gay paradise where Western men are generally well received or welcome. Gay life for the locals and foreigners seems still to be quite difficult in a very conservative society which is opening up, but at snail speed. Buying the book will probably safe you a lot of money since you will not have to shoulder that air ticket to Korea and not buy all those expensive mandatory bar snacks. There is definitely more meat available in Bangkok, Kula Lumpur and Singapore and all three places seem to be more cheerful as well. But if you have to go to Korea (for whatever odd reasons) then buy the book, but expect a hardship posting. For the lazy connoisseur I recommend the three clickable entries on Sticky Rice Gay Guide World. It seems that is about all you need to know about gay Korea for the moment.