Great gay guys in Warwick – little time to check out gay Sheffield

Such is the writing on the wall: The very last time to see an old (dear) gay friend in this life

By Suzy Size, shedding new light on gay Sheffield

Had you, fellow gay sex tourist, predicted that your heroine Suzy Size would ever visit Warwick and its folk festival during her gay World Friendship Tour she would have laughed right into your face.

”Warwhat?”

When she started her trip back in good old gay Pattaya she did not even know there was such a place on this planet. And why on earth should anybody looking so anxiously for gay sex like her go to Warwick? Look up Warwick: there is not a single gay place listed on Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World (the gay Bible, after all). So why, the hell, go to Warwick?

When Suzy prepared for her England trip she contacted an old friend, Roy Bailey, the well known folk singer. Roy (now sweet 72) was the very first human soul to know about the gay faith (or is it fate?) of your benign heroine over 30 years ago when she confessed to the only openly gay man she knew in those dark days.

“How do you know?” Roy had asked.

”Oh, I know!”, Suzy had answered - even though it had not been proven by sex then yet, but that followed soon after as you might have rightly suspected, seasoned gay world sex tourist.

The date Suzy wanted to visit Roy in Sheffield was not - as the British say so often – “convenient”, he was engaged at the Warwick Folk Festival (“a blast of Music and Dance”) and not even bloating Suzy Size was expecting the organizers to change that date at short notice. So Suzy decided to go to Warwick in pursuit of her lost gay youth and meet up with Roy there - after not seeing him for about 25 years.

Of course, Suzy was early at Maryleborne station (what a pretty, but unpronounceable name!) as always, had bought the Super Off Peak ticket for aggressive 16.90 pounds the day before and could now take the earlier train. She saw (for the first time in this episode) the writing on the wall: “This train is for Stratford-upon-Avon, calling at Wembley, Gerrards Cross, Beaconsfield, High Wycombe, Princess Risborough, Haddenham and Thame Parkway, Bicester North, Kings Sutton, Banbury, Leamington Spa, Warwick, Hatten, Wilmcote, Stratford-upon-Avon.”

And, indeed, that well trained train for Stratford-upon-Avon, called at Wembley, where they play tennis at all times, day and night, rain and shine, it called at Gerrards Cross, too, did the same thing at Beaconsfield, performed expectedly well at High Wycombe, delivered at Princess Risborough, was even on time at Haddenham and Thame Parkway, did not forget to call at Bicester North, stopped at Kings Sutton, let people in and out (as those obedient trains do) at Banbury, and called anew at Leamington Spa. Suzy now got a bit nervous. Would that train now spoil everything or call at Warwick as well? It did and Suzy got off but does therefore not know for certain whether it called at Hatten, at Wilmcote and at Stratford-upon-Avon, too, where, as you know, it was for. But it probably did.

By the way, another important writing on the wall on that train is: “Do not place feet on the seats.” But there is no conductor to yell at you, if you do it anyway. So you might contemplate to place your feet on the seats. Just a thought.

Warwick – you pronounce it Warik, the same undesirable waste of letters as in Gloucester for simple Gloster – has maybe 15 pubs, a scenic old town and a castle. Suzy first went for a stroll (as you are supposed to do in such places), admired some gigantic rosemary bushes, the lovely old town, but did not enter the castle at pricy 18 Pounds. It was a very hot day, so Suzy entered The Roebuck, which is a pub, had the house pate and by mistake an ale, which is a rather shallow local beer. No wonder you get delicious Stella Artois all over the country in these enlightened days. And soon after Roy, who – contrary to Suzy - is a very good driver, picked her up at that Roebuck and rode over to the concert site.

Roy still knows Suzy as Fritzy which is short for respectable (or rather frightening) Friedrich, and this very fact revoked memories of the long gone days of youth in your grey heroine. That time which consisted of so many firsts, of bright prospects and a lot of fear and unknowns. Roy has not changed much. He still becomes nervous before a concert. He worries too much about his health, as he always did. Is a bit self centered as many performing artists. Whilst Roy was having incredibly oily fish and chips (Suzy could have never digested that stuff) the two ladies let the last 25 years pass by. You will understand, gay sex tourist, Suzy cannot go into all the interesting and especially the sordid details.

Roy introduced Fritzy to a younger colleague of his, David Ferrard, a good looking and very promising folk singer, and his very cute boyfriend Rod. Suzy had to mobilize a lot of self persuasion and all her discipline not to misbehave in the eyes of David and seriously molest Rod at once. She could imagine so many things she would have done with lovely Rod who has an absolute killer smile. But, you know, gay sex tourist, you cannot do things in Europe that would feel perfectly normal in Asia, they are all a bit odd over here, a very strange brand of beasts. Well, there must be reasons for living in good old Pattaya… When you see good looking, but so unavailable Europeans, those reasons become obvious once again. This detestable lack of sex in Europe is just inhuman!

Is Suzy Size getting homesick, after all? Warwick – with its complete lack of gay sites, gay opportunities - is the obvious place for such a thing, but the overall visit here was so delightful, Suzy did not succumb to such feelings yet.

The highlight of the visit in Warwick was yet to come. It was the gig of Roy Bailey and Tony Benn, yes, the veteran, 83 years old left politician, who is also seen by many as the conscience of the Labour party. They have been friends for ages and do their programme “The writing on the wall” for quite a time. Before the concert Fritzy was introduced to Tony who still has a very sharp mind and tongue. Both gentleman are leftist and subscribers to (and Tony a writer for) the New Statesman (whereas Suzy nowadays is a believer of The Economist, but was a leftist, too, when young). They are refreshingly old fashioned, they are actually value conservatives, still believe in human rights, equality, democracy, anti war, anti atomic, revolt. Roy will have his 50 years stage celebration on October 19 in Sheffield under the concert title: “Rolling home, 50 years of dissent”. On stage they work together very well: Tony gives refreshing history lessons by samples from the longer and shorter past. He is eloquent, funny, sharp and logical. Roy then takes over, sings a song matching the theme of Tony. Their program catches on very well with the audience. The tent with 2000 seats was full in Warwick and the two guys in the end got a standing ovation, deservedly. Nostalgic Suzy was up and clapping, too.

After the concert Suzy Size carried the guitar of folk celebrity Roy Bailey, like in the old days, felt moved, proud and young again. Who will carry her laptop around the gay world and all those dark rooms when she is 72?

Next day the two old friends drove to Sheffield. Saw a many local wonders on the way, like the ill shaped Chesterfield church tower (see the picture with that ugly female), some stinging nettles when peeing at the road side (they still do that in England, they cannot afford toilets at the pump stations like us in Thailand) and they still have milkmen here that deliver the milk in glass bottles (the picture proves it, even though it does not show Tevje himself as one might come to believe).

Suzy met the wife of Roy, Val, in Sheffield, his daughter Kit, who has visited your heroine in Nong Khai once, Martin Simpson, husband of Kit, and outstanding musician himself, and their lovely daughter Molly.

There was no time to visit the gay scene of Sheffield in person, you have to do it yourself, gay sex tourist. But the listings on Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World (at least) are up to date now. So if you go to Sheffield, just print out the Pink Pages beforehand.

But do go to this University City (unlike Suzy Size) when the semester break is over and all those rosy and hopefully horny students are back in town.

Roy and Suzy both saw the writing on the wall: This was the last time they were meeting in this life. Suzy will probably never come back to England again (for what?) and Roy is unlikely to visit her in hot Thailand, suffering already like a dog from that three unusually hot English days. So when Roy drove Suzy to Manchester next day this was a good-by for good. But there are e-mails, of course, for the remains of the day.

Do get to know gay Manchester in our next travelogue. Read this new revelation exclusively on Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World.

Support the Suzy Size World Friendship Tour - pay on-line now – it feels so good to do good

Suzy Size likes her tour through five Asian countries so much, she now plans to go on an eternal World Friendship Tour for Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World. Well, eternal is a long time – contrary to short time – and our heroine needs some funds for this unique venture, the boys are costly, you know. Support your heroine and pay on-line with your credit card. Any amount of 20 US $ and above welcome. If you commit 100 US $ or above you will get a dinner invitation at Castelgandolfo, the Suzy Size residence slightly outside Pattaya. It feels so good to do good! For payment just go to this link on the internet:

http://www.sparkleserver.net/payment.php

There will be a field with 4 lines.

1. Company: Your name

2. Billing contact E-mail: Supporter has to give in his E-mail address

3: Paying for: Supporter gives in: Place or country Suzy should visit next

4: Amount and currency: Any

And then you can make your payment right there. Suzy Size thanks thee an awful lot and is mighty proud of you.