SUZY SIZE BLOGS
To gay Moscow! To gay Moscow! - Really, sisters, are you so sure?
Ordinary, but nagging travel worries of your gay heroine
By Suzy Size, gay Russia
If you ever have seen or read the play “Three sisters” by Anton Chekhov you will understand your heroine Suzy Size who just longed to see Moscow at least once in her life. Sitting constantly in provincial Pattaya can become a bit boring at times and so Suzy felt like a combination of the famous three sisters (Olga, Masha and Irina) who - throughout the whole play - wish to move to their idolized, dream like Moscow, thus escaping the emptiness and boredom of their provincial real daily life. Those sad sisters never make it to Moscow, a fate your heroine definitely did not want to share. After acquiring the visa Suzy looked for a suitable (and affordable!) accommodation in Moscow which is an expensive place as everybody seems to know. And that is when she heard of Dimitry the first time… and Dimitry Maksimov was to become the savior of this difficult Russian expedition, or so it looked at least from a provincial Pattaya perspective. Or that was the hope of your heroine at the start of this trip.
Russia is certainly not welcoming gay (and even straight) tourists with open arms. Remember that strange “Invitation” the Russian embassy in Bangkok wanted? Suzy had to buy one for 4500 Baht (plus 2000 for the actual visa), a dear und completely useless red tape obstacle for anybody traveling to that country, still suffering of identity problems due to the demise of the Soviet Union. If Suzy only had known about able Dimitry before! She naturally found – are you surprised, gay sex tourist to Russia? – her new hero through the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Guide World which is now also a useful Gay Guide to Russia. He is one of several gay guys offering their services on dedicated websites. One website he owns is called Gay Tours Russia which offers that silly “Invitation” for a fraction of what your hapless heroine paid and contains a lot of information about the gay scene of Moscow. His other website is called Moscow 4 Rent which lets about a dozen apartments in central locations for shorter and longer terms. Dimitry offered Suzy one for 90 US $ a night (which was a discounted price) and the transfer from the airport for 50 US $. (That is why it is soo terribly important to occasionally send some dough to the Gay World Friendship Tour, dear user, to keep that sometimes expensive show up and running.)
Sitting in the plane of Turkish airlines from Bangkok to Istanbul Suzy Size had some Russian neighbors, a relatively young, but quite ugly straight couple. They were holding each others all the time as if they feared somebody else might steal one of them, which was highly improbable given the ugliness of them both. (Is it not a comfort to know, that even the ugly ones need not be alone? They find themselves, too, like you and me.) And they were exchanging deep French kisses constantly, in a somewhat theatrical way. They both seemed to be a bit autistic, not speaking a word of English, but a lot of Russian and that all the time. After a short stop in Istanbul airport Suzy boarded another Turkish plane to Moscow Sheremetyevo airport and had a pleasant older Russian lady besides her who spoke a little English and loved to make light conversation. Suzy conversed too, but was really plagued and obsessed by many worries. Arriving completely alone in a new city - where she knows nobody in person, has limited cash with her and does not know whether or not the ATMs really will dispense cash to her - is slightly troublesome even for a hardened heroine who is well versed in traveling the world and always has an umbrella at hand she could use as baton when bad should come to worse. But would – that was one nagging and constantly reoccurring thought in that plane – Marat, the driver Dimitry had assigned, really be there at all? Would he hold in his hands a placard with “Suzy Size” in big letters written on it? (Or rather “Fritzy Fritz”, the more manly alias of your prudent heroine whilst traveling in homophobic lands, using blue jeans instead of all her frocks.) How could she possibly find that apartment, if that Marat guy would be absent? Maybe he was one of those infamous Russian drunks that become very emotional, embrace everybody endlessly, but are completely useless and smell terribly from Vodka at all times? Suzy had read that it was very dangerous in Moscow to trust any stranger that offered to drive one around in his private car. What should she do, if nobody was waiting for her at the airport? Or, even worse, if the man looked highly suspicious? Suzy has very good eyes, indeed, for everything deviating from the common norms of society. And what did she really know about Dimitry? Anybody could install a nice little site or two on the internet and use them for scams. Was Dimitry Maksimov a real person or a phantom? Was he maybe an agent of sorts? Russia is full of agents, every child knows that. As you probably know, the Russian authorities are very homophobic and suppress any Gay Pride with excessive force as they just did again recently. Would that not be a clever move to infiltrate the gay scene by installing some seemingly gay websites? Some state sponsored sort of gay counter intelligence? Oh, those Russians!
But all those many worries were in vain, Marat was there – of course - with that sign. He said “Welcome to Moscow” with a smile. And then he went to fetch a very new car parked somewhere nearby. And soon Suzy was in an old, but comfortable apartment with all the promised amenities, even a washing machine was there, but your heroine had no dirty laundry yet at the initial part of her trip, if you can believe that, fellow gay sex tourist. And then – maybe five minutes in that apartment, Dimitry called and announced a visit for later. Suzy took a shower and waited impatiently for Dimitry.
Suzy Size will study gay Moscow next, an episode, in which extreme euphoria and deep despair will go hand in hand. Apparently this is often the case in Russia, just think of the strange characters in the novels of Dostoyevsky who go through constant and deep mood swings. Read next week exclusively on Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World about that very important and absolutely necessary trip to Russia which is part of the never ending Gay World Friendship Tour.
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It feels so good to do good
Suzy Size likes her tours all over the world so much, she now plans to go on an eternal World Friendship Tour for Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World. Well, eternal is a long time – contrary to short time – and our heroine needs some funds for this unique venture, the boys are costly, you know. Support your heroine and pay on-line with your credit card. Any amount of 20 US $ and above welcome. If you commit 100 US $ or above you will get a dinner invitation at Castelgandolfo, the Suzy Size residence slightly outside Pattaya and an interesting plant. It feels so good to do good!
Suzy Size thanks thee an awful lot and is mighty proud of you.