”Give my love to Bangkok”

A unique (gay friendly) hotel in Kolkata

By Suzy Size, gay India

When Suzy Size arrived in Kolkata late in the evening, she booked another one of those prepaid taxis at the airport to bring her to the Fairlawn Hotel in Sudder Street. There was no question whether your heroine wanted an air conditioned taxi since they seem to have only the other kind in Kolkata. Suzy boarded one of those old fashioned Amabassador Classic cars, windows wide open to get some hot air blown into her face which is better than no air at all. It was hot and quite dark outside, the suburbs of Kolkata are not lit very well and neither is most of the rest of this gigantic city. No beggars molested your heroine through the open windows at red lights, it was probably just too late for that trade. Suzy had feared that late arrival in Kolkata, she prefers to arrive in broad day light in cities that are completely new to her. And Kolkata has a really bad reputation when it comes to poverty and gigantic slums.

Through the internet she had booked a single room at the Fairlawn (for details as always look at the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Asia Guide and Gay World Guide) and they had promised to hold it for her after being informed about her planed late arrival. But would they really do it? Suzy worried a bit. After some smaller problems the taxi driver finally had found the Fairlawn which was established in 1936. Suzy loved it at first glance. She entered through the one and only garden entrance – a not too young helper had taken her bags - and felt thrown back in time when the English colonialists still had the say in India. The Fairlawn today still looks like when it opened shortly before the outbreak of World War II. There are some comfortable old fashioned rattan furniture in the lobby, many photographs on the walls show famous (and forgotten) people who stayed at this charming hotel. Some guests were having drinks in the garden restaurant. With no problems they found the reservation of your heroine at the reception. They had written all the details of her e-mail booking by hand in one of those huge reservation books which have become most rare in the modern hotel industry of today.

The had given away all the other single rooms to other customers but allocated Suzy Size instead with a large and comfortable room with three beds right besides the dining room. In other, sexually more developed countries, it would have been no problem at all to find some attractive companions to fill the other two beds, but here (in Kolkata) Suzy doubted she could accomplish this arduous task. The bath tub was immense and – as advertised – they have added a huge boiler many years back to provide their distinguished guests with hot water that could flow through that old tropical shower head. Air conditioning and TVs had been added in a later stage and the same applies to a family size refrigerator. But otherwise time was frozen here. Suzy was not ready for bed yet and went out for a beer.

Sudder Street is very much like those other backpacker tourist streets you find in Jakarta, Kathmandu or Bangkok, but much smaller since tourism does not seem to be the big currency collector in Kolkata. Suzy had a couple of beers, listened in what others were telling and finally called it a day.

Since the room of your heroine was just besides the dining room, Suzy had feared to be woken up in the morning by the noises of other guests, rising earlier than her. But - quite fortunately - that fear proved to be futile, Suzy could not hear a thing and slept relatively long into the morning. When up, Suzy ordered some eggs and cornflakes plus tea with milk. The tea was served by an old waiter in a large pot which was covered with one of those old fashioned fluffy fabric things to keep it warm. Corn flakes are not served every day at the Fairlawn, but this actually was a corn flakes day, the next one proved to be a porridge day. The sensation was the fried egg which was accompanied not only by tomatoes and fried potatoes but –believe it or not – real bacon! Suzy had not been served any pork all over India, even though she had seen many pigs roaming. Your heroine had to eat so many tandoori chicken, butter nan, palak paneer and tasteless lentils of all kind during her five weeks voyage through that subcontinent, she has vowed NEVER AGAIN to eat any of that boring Indian food in her whole remaining life.

And now suddenly bacon!

After breakfast Suzy turned in her key at the lobby and was about to leave that great hotel to discover the wonders of Kolkata when she noticed the Fairlawn motto on a sign: “Receive tourists as guests and send them away as friends”, which is a quote by Indira Gandhi. Another sign explained that Bed and Breakfast - Suzy had not booked full board – included the traditional afternoon tea, splendid, indeed. But then Suzy finally discovered the star of the Fairlawn which is – without doubt – 1921 born Violet Smith who happens to own this unique place. She is to be found at the lobby every single day of the year and converses here with her guests, many of whom are or were famous. Tom Stoppard staid at the Fairlawn and so did Julie Christie, Penelope Cruz, singer Sting and Patrick Swayze who formed a lasting friendship with Violet Smith when filming “City of Joy” at her hotel. Suzy Size instantly discovered a soul mate in Violet Smith who is a restored redhead, always perfectly well coiffed and manicured, with thick red lipstick and certainly not hiding her jewelry. Violet has a sharp mind and a sharp mouth. Due to the clever long term rental contract the old hoteliere only has to pay 700 Rupees (14 US $) a month for her unique premises. Charming Violet thanked Suzy for taking her picture and explained to your heroine why she only had one child – a daughter – with the late Major Ted Smith whom she has married in Kolkata in 1944.

”My husband was a cricket player, you know?”

Does Suzy really know? What did Violet Smith mean with those odd or cryptic words? Are cricket players more interested in the company of their fellow cricket players than their wives? Might that be the reason the couple - during their decades long marriage - only had one child? We might never know, Suzy did not really dare asking.

Your heroine did her homework in Kolkata. She underwent the usual sightseeing in a rickshaw that was pulled by a barefooted man. She even dutifully checked out the so called gay bars, had a beer at Sams and at Olypub, but skipped the discos and all the other outlets at the Park Hotel. All listed (so called) gay places in the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Asia Guide and Gay World Guide for Kolkata are walking distance to the Fairlawn Hotel. It would be easy to bring a local talent into the hotel. All this makes the Fairlawn the natural place to stay in Kolkata.

And you can meet Violet Smith who upon the departure of your heroine begged Suzy Size:

”Give my love to Bangkok.”

Suzy did just that - and with pleasure.

That entire trip through gay India turned out to be a fucking disaster when it comes down to sex. Not one single such encounter in five weeks! Read next week on Sticky Rice Gay Asia Guide, Gay India Guide and Gay World Guide why it went so wrong: Epilogue in Pattaya.

Support the Suzy Size World Friendship Tour – pay on-line now

It feels so good to do good

Suzy Size likes her tours all over the world so much, she now plans to go on an eternal World Friendship Tour for Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World. Well, eternal is a long time – contrary to short time – and our heroine needs some funds for this unique venture, the boys are costly, you know. Support your heroine and pay on-line with your credit card. Any amount of 20 US $ and above welcome. If you commit 100 US $ or above you will get a dinner invitation at Castelgandolfo, the Suzy Size residence slightly outside Pattaya and an interesting plant. It feels so good to do good!

Suzy Size thanks thee an awful lot and is mighty proud of you.