Caught in the act

Shaken and stripped of everything in Chile

By Suzy Size, gay Santiago de Chile

Suzy Size has always anticipated she might - at one stage or other on her long journey - get into severe troubles, but she did not think that would happen – of all places - in orderly Chile. But that is where she got caught in the act, was stripped of everything and immediately tried and sentenced. In retrospect she is only happy she did not attempt to bribe the officials, since that would definitely have landed her in jail for her crime against nature…

As a matter of fact your heroine has become a victim of the earthquake that shattered Chile not too long ago. Traveling the country, one can still see the enormous damage that nature has done.

If you remember the original travel plans, you will see that the root cause of the problems your heroine encountered in Chile was that fucking earthquake. Suzy Size was supposed to travel from Buenos Aires to Santiago and then to Brazil, but had to change the order first traveling from Buenos Aires to Montevideo, then Brazil and then Chile. So when she finally arrived at the airport in Santiago she felt uneasy, reckoned that she probably was in deep shit. She checked what those immigration people were doing before approaching them. They were mercilessly scanning each and every piece of luggage and Suzy was carrying a lot of that illegal stuff. Your shaken heroine first retreated to the toilet as every nervous smuggler of illegal things might do. Was she throwing all that into the toilet? No, your heroine tried to get those expensive materials through at any cost.

When Suzy Size approached the last control at Santiago airport she tried to play dumb, normally she is quite good at that and generally convincing, too. She opened her back pack and asked whether or not she could bring in her salami bought in the wonderful market in Sao Paulo? No, she could not, this was an agricultural product. Then she showed her Mortadella Bolognese which started a discussion amongst the immigration officials and the Mortadella finally could be brought in since it was a boiled product. The Cherimoya, Cocoa and Graviola did not pass and had to be thrown in the garbage bin by your disgruntled heroine. The palmitos (palm hearts) in a can passed.

When her backpack was scanned it only contained some personal things and all those many seeds Suzy Size had collected with true devotion and diligence. And your heroine knew damn well she was trying to smuggle illegal plant products into Chile. She had heard the announcement in the plain and fully understood it. She had signed that written declaration that she had no such things in her possession. But now they took her aside, politely in tone, but also unambiguously in act. The elder official put the seeds on a scale, they weighed 1.6 kilos. Suzy now could feel she was in deep shit when she had to sign a form that those 1.6 kilos of seeds were hers.

Your red faced heroine was lead to another official, a younger guy, who questioned her for a quick trial. She managed quite well to get her points over to him in her funny Spanish. Your heroine was living in Thailand and the seeds were for her gardens there. She did not really understand the statement she signed. That is why she gave in the salami and all those so precious fruits. She was deeply, deeply sorry: Lo siento, lo siento. (Sorry to loose all those seeds!) Suzy Size looked and was so sad, so sad, indeed. The young man – in a fatherly mood – explained good old Suzy that she could not sign a customs declaration, if she did not fully understand. He explained her that normally the minimum sentence is 250 $ US (but jail was another possibility) and that he now was seeing the boss of the office for agricultural boarder control for a judgment. When he came back the sentence was already signed by said boss, Alejandro Herrera Astorga. The seeds were destroyed and your heroine was forgiven her crime since she committed it for the very first time. (Little do they know about your heroine in Chile.) But, of course, she was friendly reminded, never to commit such indecent acts again. Suzy Size promised to abide by the laws in future, but was already thinking how to make up for those terrible losses...

Well, she could not make up for the losses. The climate in Chile is different from Thailand, not tropical and on the one night stopover in Sao Paulo that wonderful market was closed. She found her cousin who had left Switzerland 43 years ago as a young man and he had turned into an old man. They talked about their common background, the atheist grandfather who was abandoned by his mother right after birth. He was intelligent and became a teacher, a profession that runs in the family. The father of your heroine (see the picture together with his two sisters) was a teacher and her mother too. The cousin in Chile was a teacher all his life as well. So if you get the feeling (once in a while) that your heroine tries to teach you a lesson or two in this blog, you know why.

Your heroine dutifully went to have a look at some gay bars in Santiago de Chile, most are located in a neighborhood called “Bellavista” (for the details as always go to the Pink Pages of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World) and most even are in the same road “Bombero Nunez”. But Suzy was not really interested. The Chilean male in general is quite ugly. The gay scene is small and uninspiring. And your heroine just recently has found the “Paradise for Men” in Sao Paulo, remember? Some pictures have to do.

Send us a comment or two if you happen to know those places inside out.

Suzy Size will continue her trip through gay Malaysia, gay South Africa, gay Argentina, gay Uruguay, gay Brazil, gay Chile, gay Istanbul and gay Egypt. Next week Suzy Size will be reporting from gay Istanbul. Read about the newest adventures of your heroine here, exclusively on Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World which is the only true Global Gay Guide on the net.

Support the Suzy Size World Friendship Tour – pay on-line now

It feels so good to do good

Suzy Size likes her tours all over the world so much, she now plans to go on an eternal World Friendship Tour for Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World. Well, eternal is a long time – contrary to short time – and our heroine needs some funds for this unique venture, the boys are costly, you know. Support your heroine and pay on-line with your credit card. Any amount of 20 US $ and above welcome. If you commit 100 US $ or above you will get a dinner invitation at Castelgandolfo, the Suzy Size residence slightly outside Pattaya and an interesting plant. It feels so good to do good!

Suzy Size thanks thee an awful lot and is mighty proud of you.