Stories

Saturday night Suzy Size and Connie Lingus had a splendid hot pot dinner at the banks of the Mekhong. Then the two grey ladies entered New Oasis Bar which reopened under new ownership just recently. This is the only gay host bar of Nong Khai and when Suzy entered that place the first time on a visit in January, Keekee, the manager, first thought Miss Size was a so called “real man”. This time around – accompanied by super flamboyant Connie Lingus – there was not the shadow of a doubt about the real nature of your heroine. The only host that night, Khun Ting, was 24 years old and joined the two “femmes fatales” at their table. Suzy Size at one point – she was slightly drunk – squeezed one of his sizeable nipples and then inquired about an in-house short time room, but they have no such emergency facility at New Oasis. Read more

The third catastrophe happened when your horny heroine arrived in Jomtien beach. She found a good parking space just in front of the Bank of Ayudaya branch and reached in no time D. D. Inn, her favorite short time hotel. The Mia Noi, who normally is late like most Thais, was there as well, now in short time they would go on a quick trip all the way up to paradise. At least they thought they would. Bloody, bloody Saturday! The D. D. Inn was fully booked! They even had rented out infamous room 205 who has seen over the years many men come (and go), which normally is more or less always kept as an emergency room for urgent short time reanimation. Now Suzy and her Mia Noi were in a difficult situation and much felt like Mary and Joseph on their way to Bethlehem. Read more

And then your heroine will arrive in Belem which is home to her one and only Darick, dear, dear Darick. Darling Darick. Darick, my delight! He is indeed a beautiful Mulatto with a 23 cm tool, sensual lips and a pierced nipple. In her native German language Suzy Size is tempted to fall into a poetic mood again, to even rhyme (“Der Mulatte, hat ne Latte), in other words, to act silly, like when she wrote her one and only poem for Troy, how many years ago was that? It seems one and a half eternities have passed since. Darick reminds your horny heroine of Jeff Stryker, as a matter of fact he resembles him not little. But Daricks cock is arguably bigger. Certainly bigger! Read more

Then Miss Size probably will proceed from Fortaleza (Brazil) by bus or so to Belem where she has never set foot yet so far and here the mighty Amazon river flows into the sea. Your heroine has already checked out the only escort boy there, advertising his rather expensive services on a dedicated website. He is just stunning. Darick is indeed a beautiful Mulatto with a 23 cm tool, sensual lips and a pierced nipple. And the 19 years young man can do everything! But he wants 120 Euros for an hour in heaven. So please, good gay guys out there in the world, send some dough right now! If you do not, you commit a hefty crime against homosexuality and thus break two hearts with one stroke: That of needy Darick and the lonely heart of your humble heroine! Can you be so cruel? Suzy Severa Size always remains hopeful, even against all odds. Read more

But that not too young man just kept staring at Suzy Size. Weird, Suzy thought. And then he even smiled at your heroine. A timid, but beautiful smile. Strange, Suzy thought. But then your old heroine remembered: Decades ago, when a man looked at her with that kind of face, that kind of smile, he fancied her. Could that be the case here and now? After all, that guy in his thirties was not bad looking, not bad looking at all. He had a well trained body from the gym. So your encouraged heroine asked him the old, silly question that Suzy always asks in that very situation: “Where are you from?” He was from Russia. Read more

The frantic gardening of your heroine got another boost towards the end of the year. Suzy and the brother in law – the one that sells her precious and rare plants at the plants weekend market in Nakluea - went to a plant fair in Bangkok where they met a most interesting supplier. Not only got the man vanilla, but also 7 different varieties of fig trees, “black moon” passion fruits from Mexico, rare black bananas from Papua New Guinea, red bananas from Israel, one banana type that reaches 14 meters in height and so on. Your gardening heroine did not know that Vanilla is an orchid and has planted one in the luscious gardens surrounding Castelgandolfo. Besides these so interesting plants, the first cocoa plants are for sale now as well. Besides macadamia, rosemary, gac, date palms from Syria, three passion fruit varieties, red lipstick shrubs, screw pines, nutmeg and so on. Suzy Size is full of hope and enthusiasm and has high expectations for 2012. This was at least a terrific start so far! And the Mia Noi has time too again… Read more

A confession has to be made to you, gay visitor of Pattaya: For a while your heroine Suzy Size has not been faithful and shamelessly whored around. The Mia Noi is now working in a restaurant and has moved back to the house of a former steady guy of Miss Size. For that reason, Suzy cannot meet him in his room to avoid loss of face to his buddy and “landlord”. It is actually quite absurd or very Thai! But another colleague from the restaurant would borrow his room nearby that restaurant for the short time encounters that naturally still take place. The problem was, this room was a bit smelly... Read more

When they finally arrived at the hotel, both Anh and Suzy were quite groggy and definitely ready for a shower. When Anh carried the big bag with 8 kilos of cocoa pods to the elevator, Suzy thought the perfect moment to try hanky-panky had come: As soon as they entered the room together, Suzy Size would try to kiss juicy Anh in that well known French way, then shower with him and so on. You, prospective gay traveler to Vung Tau or Vietnam in general, can imagine what now could happen! Read more

Long after breakfast at a nearby coffee house, Suzy Size made another attempt to truly getting to know gay Saigon. Your horny heroine had been contacted on that gay internet dating site by Brandon, a 34years old Vietnamese-American guy living and working in Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City. Now she called him on his mobile phone and tried to make a date for that Saturday evening, she was very nervous at first. And, yes, Brandon, 20 years her junior, was interested in meeting grey Miss Size that evening. Contrary to the very first internet acquaintance he had no problems coming to meet Suzy at God Mother Saigon, maybe he was more out of the closet due to his US background? Read more

When she saw Aleses with another group of gay young men (or young men that will at least have sex with men) she joined the gang again. Aleses was the boss of the group and he was clearly gay, slightly effeminate, but still acceptable for your hunk loving heroine. It was great fun to sit on that small chairs and equally small tables in Bui Vien, drinking cold Saigon Green with ice, eating snacks and watching Saigon walk by. Read more

Out of those 12 Vietnamese gay guys living in Saigon that had shown interest in your gray heroine on that dating site, only a few had posted a picture of themselves. The two that had a picture were ruled out immediately by Suzy Severa Size due to their unappealing looks, which is just a matter of personal taste. One had sent some pictures of himself to Miss Size, including a nude showing an erect cock of miniscule size and thus had no chances with your demanding size-queen. But one guy with pictures appealed to your picky heroine: He did not state his age, but was probably about 25 to 28 years old, neither an inexperienced chicken, nor over his prime. On one of the pictures he wore expensive designer clothes, Suzy thought, he was either a rich kid or an expensive money boy. Read more

Elmar Kleiner for instance has created a minimalistic, luxurious and highly functional private residence on a steep piece of land along a stunning 140 m beach front in Pattaya. The ensemble is a composition of a main house with several subordinate houses and generous outdoor areas, including a wide flamboyant stair and a 30 m swimming pool. The residential area consists of stunning 4500 square meters, the ceiling is 3.60 m high and the bathroom alone is 36 square meters. Hiring a gay architect has many advantages, you laugh and talk about the same things and you can be sure that there are no eyebrows raised if you want to have – for instance - your own and private darkroom built. Read more

So Miss Size walked up and down Bui Vien, the backpacker street of Saigon, till she by coincidence found a gay group of drinking boys and joined them for some beers in one of the inexpensive street restaurants where the Saigon Green costs 10000 Dong which are 50 US Cents. The most attractive and obvious boss of the group was a fellow called Aleses. He befriended your heroine right from the start, pealed peanuts for her and cheered with his beer all the times. Was he trying to get Suzy drunk? Miss Size paid some rounds, but then left to her hotel, returned to the good God Mother of gay Saigon. Aleses had offered to take Miss Size to his nearby room, but your heroine was a bit too tired and did not trust him yet. After all, Saigon was the only Asian city your horny heroine had ever been robbed by a hustler. Tomorrow was another day and Suzy Size had the number of Aleses, just in case. If hanky-panky with Aleses would take place at all, it would be at her room at the God Mother where all strangers have to leave their IDs at the reception. Read more

When Suzy Size read this week (whilst in Saigon) that the airport in Bangkok had shut down due to the severe flooding, she became a bit nervous. So far her trip to Vietnam had been a big success. Not only had she met some interesting gay Vietnamese characters on her newest adventure trip, she also had retrieved 8 kilo of precious cocoa fruits containing the priceless fresh beans that only can germinate within two weeks, once they are taken from their pods. And she had also bought 10 cocoa seedlings. (The arduous details of this mad and hilarious undertaking will be fully revealed to the readers of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World at a later date.) And now the airport had closed! Read more

Be warned, gay traveler to Pattaya and the world in general, this is the sad tale of a gay Thai-Thai love affair that did not take place or originate from Boyztown or start at Sunee Plaza, the unlucky lovers met through a Thai gay dating website. A young man just madly fell in love with another, but this apparent love was one sided which lead to threats of violence and stalking. Read more

Next week Suzy Size shall return to gay Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City in her frantic search for cocoa beans and male beauty. As the regular readers of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia and Gay Guide World know by now, the latest trip there of your heroine was a complete failure. Not only did she not find those valuable cocoa beans near Vung Tau, she – who could also be labeled as Miss Beans after that failed trip - missed out on the recent developments of the gay scene of Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City as well. In other words, sorry Suzy Size did not get laid at all there which is certainly a scandal and a personal disaster as well. Read more

Another week has been spent – or is it wasted? – by your almost divine heroine Suzy Size. Not by searching for the juiciest gay asses in the phenomenal Pattaya Boyztown or at equally tempting Sunee Plaza, but with frantic gardening or maybe rather marketing. As the regular readers of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia regarding Pattaya do know by now by heart, your silly heroine has a not so secret plan to get rich quickly by selling her fast growing, but unique plants in large numbers at extremely elevated prices and thus financing her many sex trips around the world. It is the noble cause of the Eternal Gay World Friendship Tour to describe the whole fucking world from a gay perspective. But this task not only asks for a lot of stamina, it is a costly pet project of your heroine. Anyway, last weekend was the hour of truth, the Thai brother in law of Miss Size took a truckload of Graviola, Lipstick trees, bottle plants, passion fruit vines, red Italian basil and other rare green stuff to the plants market in Nakluea. Read more

Last Saturday your humble heroine Suzy Size once more moved her ass to the incredible plants market in Nakluea as a spy. This weekend her brother in law will start selling there all the precious plants Miss Size is growing in her luscious gardens surrounding her Castelgandolfo residence. And to know what the enemy (the competitors) is offering seems to be adamant. There were those incredible masculine bananas for sale there and it goes without saying your old size queen just had to buy them… Read more

Look, dear user of Sticky Rice Gay Guide Asia regarding Pattaya and Thailand as a whole, do not be disappointed! The blog this week does not contain any juicy stories about sheer incredible adventures of your heroine in Boyztown or at equally interesting Sunee Plaza. Suzy Size is fully focused on other interesting shapes and forms than male tits and asses. She is preparing for “P” day that could make or break the long term financial well being of Miss Size and her eternal Gay World Friendship Tour, momentarily stuck in good old Pattaya… Let us face an inconvenient truth, neither did you out there in the fog support Miss Size enough, in her noble cause, to describe the whole fucking world from a gay perspective, when it comes to sending or pledging money. Read more

It was now late afternoon and the mostly Vietnamese clients had left already, had returned to Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City. The friendly and obviously gay waiter was an English student and therefore spoke some English. So Suzy Size asked him about the cocoa plantations of Ba Ria. But he had only shortly arrived here with his mother – being her only child – from the Vietnamese border area to Cambodia and was not too familiar yet with the surroundings of Vung Tau. But his boss, a woman, was from Ba Ria, but she had never heard of the famous cocoa plantations there. Anh, the 23 year old English student with about three jobs to keep him and his mother alive, was free the next day and willing to act as a guide for your heroine. He was the proud proprietor of a motorcycle and was going to be driver and guide in one. Read more